Rosey blows an egg

My friend Rosey, in her role as teacher’s assistant was sitting alongside Miss Burton who was telling the children in her form about eggs and with gloved hands was carefully handling some samples she'd borrowed from the Museum of Natural History. Not the type of eggs you eat of course - although I suppose you could – but rare eggs and big eggs and strange coloured eggs. When I say Rosey was assisting, she was not actually able to handle the eggs themselves. Given her propensity toward accidents they would have been safer in the hands of the nine year olds than they would be in hers.

Miss B explained to the kiddy-winks that the eggs were empty because they had been what they call blown’. Well, Rosey remembered that many years ago she had been shown how to blow an egg so suggested out loud that she would show the children how it was done. A very nervous Miss Brown suddenly had a premonition of impending disaster, but her objection to Rosey’s scheme was overruled by 25 excited students! She was to bring some eggs to school and amaze her audience!

That evening Rosey carry out a trial session. She got an egg and stuck holes in both ends with a cocktail stick, and five eggs later she was successful in keeping one in its original oval shape rather than reducing it to a fistful of slimy shards! Then she blew with all her might through one hole and the contents shot out the other one just missing the mug she'd intended capturing it in and splodging itself onto her cat Scruffybutt's back. Being a bit of a contortionist, the white ball of fluff managed to reach the mess with her tongue, and if she could have smiled she probably would have because she clearly enjoyed it! Rosey decided that was test enough to confirm she still had the ability to ‘blow yolk’ as she used to call it.

Fast forward to the following morning. Rosey is surrounded by excited children and a nervous teacher. She carefully pierced holes in both ends of her little hen’s egg. It went silent. Not a peep from the kids. If ever she needed a drum roll it was then! Suddenly Mrs Brown chirped ‘Are you sure this is wise Miss Pinkerton?’  ‘Of course Miss Brown, trust me’ said Rosey. The number of times Rosey had used those words formed a line up in Miss Brown’s mind!

The sound of laughter rang through the school. Just as Rosey was beginning to blow through the hole little Mickey Smith went behind her and stuck his fingers in her ribs. The extra effort brought on by her sudden jerking movement produced a hurricane from her lungs and through the shell. A jet of slime shot high in the air and landed unceremoniously on the cheek of an already nervous Millie Moore who been sitting away from the crowd with her eyes closed and her fingers in her ears as if expecting an explosion!

When the laughter stopped and Millie’s tears had turned to smiles, Rosey triumphantly held up the empty shell and declared the experiment a success! So pleased was she, that she suggested carrying out another of her old tricks which involved soot, water,a plastic bag and a tyre pump. Miss Brown didn't even give her the chance to explain what might have entailed!